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When we got back together a couple months ago we promised each other that this time would be different. We don’t really have a choice, neither of us have the energy for another go round.

As you know, before he came back I was committed to taking the time to work on me. I broke that vow to myself, I have to make this time worth it.

We don’t fight and we do our very best to talk through most, if not all situations. Make no mistake, it’s incredibly difficult, remember I’m a woman in process. Many times being mature about a situation is not what feels comfortable. Not to mention I am emotional, I cry when I break a pencil!

A couple days ago we had a situation. He did something that I didn’t like and sorta hurt. I called him on it and we resolved it. There are these things that he does that I can not stand, but there are a many more that I do love.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Corinthians speaks of a true love, an unconditional love, the love we all aspire to receive. But how willing are we to give it?

Our loved ones are flawed. We have to be willing to love them despite that. This does not mean that we settle for anything that is disrespectful or hurtful. But we have to accept them for who they are, work on the things that you can both change and move on.

In many relationships. especially romantic, we continue to complain about things that are beyond our control. The choice was made years ago; work through it or make another choice.

I observe a lot; at work, on the train or  just in my day to day. I’ve noticed lately that we do this thing, I call it “convenient love.” Convenient love is loving only when it benefits you or requires little sacrifice.

That is not love, love is when a mother stays up all night when her child is sick, when a dad makes it to every single game no matter what, when a friend drives hours to where you are because you need them. It is the willingness to love someone despite their past, flaws and mistakes.

We can’t demand a love that we are not willing to give. It’s starts with you.

A Woman in Process

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