Holding Space

Can I be sad and happy? Can I be alone but not lonely? Can I hold space for the appreciation of where my life is while simultaneously wanting more? Can I be eager and patient? I think the answer is that I can be all and everything.

As I grow, I realize that emotions aren’t mutually exclusive. It’s within our capacity to experience several emotions at a time. Furthermore, all of them are valid and are deserving of their own time and space.

This point in my life is the most confusing. I’m truly the happiest I’ve ever been but I don’t have the trappings I once had. It would be a disservice to myself to be content with where my life is. But yet I am! I’m grateful for this place, I just know that this is not the end. I’ll have more.

I want to thrive. I want a body that is able to run a marathon. I want to own a home. A bright home with a yard near the trees. I want a career that never feels like work.

I want a partner. I want someone to scratch my back and talk all night. Someone who is my best friend. A person who accepts all of me.

I want big belly laughs with friends that truly know me and have my best interests at heart; a circle that is motivated and focused on their goals but is able to drop what they are doing when the moment calls for them to show up for me. Proud friendships where we uplift each other and are brutally honest.

So I guess the answer is…I’m content and lonely now. I can hold multiple spaces. I am comfortable embracing all the emotions.

Your Sister in Love and Light!

-Eesa Stefuny

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